Welcome, once again, to Pastoral Vibe-ology, an imprint of Pastoral Theology with Joseph Lear.
In this unserious sub-Substack, I’ll be your Vib-er of Vibes, leading the VIBE, so that you can then vibe like I vibe.
The Viiiiiiiiiibe
First, an apology: I’m a little late in providing this month’s vibe. However, the silver lining is that this means the vibe has 🪄MANIFESTED🪄 itself. December’s VIBE is TARDY.
We all know how busy the holiday season can get. We can fall behind on just about everything. Well, this month we’re not apologizing for it. Instead, we’re calling it our spiritual discipline, and we’re inviting others to join in.
If at any point, someone points out that you are late, or that things are running behind schedule, respond—with all humility, of course—“YOU GONNA TELL JESUS HE’S LATE TOO?!”
💥SERMON SERIES IDEA
Consider preaching a series entitled, Better Late Than Never. Sermons might include:
Jesus’s Return
Stinky Lazarus, Slinky Jesus: On the Importance of Tardy Miracles
Tardy Elizabeth: Old Ladies Can Get Pregnant Too
Untimely Born: Paul, the Tardy Apostle
This is not actual footage of Jesus, but it’s close enough ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Remember that it’s really, really, really important to SHARE the VIBE to be part of the VIBE 👇👇👇
🧑🌾 CULTURE CORNER
To really lean into the TARDY VIBE, we need be culture makers, not culture followers. Here are three ideas to get you started:
First, when people walk in late to Sunday morning service, publicly recognize them by name, and invite everyone to give them a round of applause.
Second, start a club for all the last-born children called The Benjamites.
Third, host a New Year’s Eve GENTILE party to celebrate the late admission of Non-Jewish people into the church. Serve bacon-wrapped shrimp and blood sausage.
December sponsor SHOUT OUT 🗣️
This month’s VIBE is endorsed by
💰 END OF THE YEAR DONATIONS 💰
Helping You Help Your Taxes Since the Founding of the IRS
🫵 It’s NEVER TOO LATE to render what is Caesar’s unto the Church 🫵
💆♂️Finally, we conclude with an ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
As we face all the challenges of the holidays, let’s keep a 🏈 HAIL MARY 🏈 attitude.
Even when it appears too late to
Get that last-minute present
Grab a coffee with your high school bestie when you’re home for the holidays
Propose to your girlfriend this New Year’s Eve
Go for the 🏈 HAIL MARY 🏈, remembering that the original angelic Hail Mary seemed late in Jewish history, but it turned out to be just on time 👌.
Jesus is never late. He arrives in the fulness of time.
And at the club meetings for the Benjamites, do they serve vegemite?