Welcome back to Pastoral Vibe-ology, an imprint of Pastoral Theology with Joseph Lear.
In this unserious sub-Substack, I’ll be your cupbearer of vibes, taste-testing the buffet of personal branding so you can then make it all your own.
We begin with November’s VIBE:
This month we’re going PRO-FAMILY. Thanksgiving’s just around the corner, and Christmas after that, which means we might be around some of our less-than-adored blood relations.
To be PRO-FAMILY, we’re treating our family like church, and our church like family.
We’re not only resisting canned jokes about racist uncles and uptight mother-in-laws,
We’re also making an uncle out of the racist guy in Sunday School and a mother-in-gospel out of the “we’ve-always-done-it-this-way” church lady.
This month’s SPONSOR OF VIBES is…
🫂 Natural Family Planning 🫂
NFP puts the “family” in “family planning”
It’s not just for Catholics and Evangelical Quiver-full Homesteaders!
You too can *plan* on having a family with this PRO-FAMILY plan
Start now for FREE (costs come later 👶)
PAID FOR BY YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW
👊Preaching EMPHasis👊
This month, we’re going stylistically old school with three-point alliteration, like:
WE’RE PRO-FAMILY which means we’re
Pro-BLOOD
Pro-BABIES
and Pro-BIOLOGY.
Here’s some other preaching ideas:
Don’t Provoke Your Kids to Anger (Eph 6:4). Rather than going *nuclear* on your family, keep your emotions *blended* with the grace of God.
Beyond Complimentarian//Egalitarian: The Apostle Paul’s End-Times Call to Singleness.
HAVE MORE BABIES: Procreation as Evangelism.
Your Best Wife Now: Jesus Was Single so You Don’t Have to Be.
⛪️ Culture SHIFT 📈
This month, we’re cultivating old timey Pentecostal culture in our churches by calling every baptized member “brother…” or “sister…”
So, for example, if you leave a comment on this Pastoral VIBE-ology, you should address me as “Brother Lear,”
Go ahead and practice ⤵️⤵️⤵️
💁♂️ Men’s Ministry Ideas
◉ Gather the men of your church for a night of butchering fresh meat 🥩
→ Lesson: if Cain had just gotten some steaks, he might have *kept* his brother.
◉ Kinsman Redeemer Church Contract Signing 📝
→ No, you don’t marry your deceased brother’s wife, but you still have to take care of her.
💁♀️ Women’s Ministry Ideas
◉ Woodworking night to build and paint decorative stools 🪑
→ Lesson: Like the Hebrew women who gave birth so quickly they couldn’t get on the birthstool, God will quicken your heart and your offspring to godliness.
◉ Women and Children-only Snake Handling Service 🐍
→ Lesson: Crushing the snakes’ heads with our offspring’s heels is how we handle them (see Gen 3:15).
Finally…📢 CALL TO ACTION 📢
This month’s call to action is a call to affection: GREET EACH OTHER WITH A HOLY KISS.
‘Cause that’s what families do.
(please interpret this allegorically)
To join November’s VIBE-ology, SHARE this post with your family
which is your church
which is your family
which is your church
Turn the men’s meat night into a Bible study with Phil Bray’s “Leviticus on the Butcher’s Block”