Welcome to the latest edition of Pastoral Vibe-ology, an imprint of Pastoral Theology with Joseph Lear.
In this jokey and unserious sub-Substack,
I’m your personal viber of VIBES.
The Vibe
Bad news everyone: The vibe is 🚫 OFF 🚫 this month.
I’m a little late on this post, and I’m now realizing that the reason I’ve been struggling to declare April’s vibe is because the vibe is, in fact, totally OFF.
Here are the top three reasons why the vibe is OFF:
1. I Didn’t Get the Herky Job
After unceremoniously losing my job at Evangel University, I was standing on the promise that those who wait on the Lord will rise up on
🪽WINGS LIKE HAWKEYES 🪽(from the Iowa Revised Version of the Bible).
I waited, but Herky’s wings weren’t for me. I will now take 40 days of fasting in a corn field 🌽 where the devil will no doubt tempt me to ride the wings of a State cyclone 🌪️ 🤮
2. The President is joking (?) about being Jesus.
And it’s, like, really killing the vibe this Easter season.
Doesn’t that pic really just tick you OFF? And didn’t the LORD say that those who make themselves like God will be cut OFF from the people?
Well, that’s why the vibe is OFF.
3. Jesus Hasn’t Come Back Yet
And that’s a real bummer. I know it’s only been like a couple of days since Easter (that is, a couple thousand years in God-days).
But I’m about to scream in a desert, kill a camel, and make some honey-grasshopper popsicles to hurry him up.
This song is on repeat:
We Gotta Bring the VIBE Back
Here’s how we do it:
Baptize Herky and all college football mascots. Make them all Christian. That’ll teach ‘em.
Start a No Jesus But Jesus protest in every major city in America. Young men only. In togas. Who flee the rally naked.
Make Flannelgraphs Great Again as an ecclesial rejection of the AI pig slop of prodigals.
Pray “Your kingdom come,” like, a lot.
Finally, here’s some sermon ideas despite the vibe being OFF
Jesus is Lord
No one else is Lord
You’re not Lord
I’m not Lord
Only the Lord is Lord









I. Needed. This. Oh my gosh, I nearly lost it. I just loved the sermon ideas!! Too bad I’m retired and don’t get to preach regularly. Thanks for giving me a smile and chuckle before I’m off to dreamland.
I'm dying 😂😂😂 This is fabulous! Well done, sir! And spot on. The vibes are indeed far beyond sketchy and into... rotten!